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May 23rd, 2008

Just start, dammit!

When I found myself googling, again, how to create a blog, I realized that if I waited until the perfect introductory paragraph whizzed through my mind, I'd never write anything.  There are too many stories piled up in my head that need to get out so this is it.  My first paragraph.  Hopefully, a first in a long and satisfying series of entries. 

I don't have lists or tips to offer other than what works (or doesn't work) for me.  I can't claim the wisdom to fix anyone else's life.  My life is about all I can handle, thank you very much.  What I have in abundance are observations, questions, wonders and stories that I feel a need to share.  

For my first post, Instead of a boring bio (I am not in an all-about-me mode at the moment) I will list a bunch of titles and duties that apply to me.  Picture a woman with many hats in all shapes and colors, that's me.  C'mon you can do it.  Hats, picture hats with colors, ribbons and odd shapes because the diva in me likes the drama.  Here goes...

Christian - Totally committed.  BFF with Jesus.  I plan to develop into one of those crazy old ladies who have tea with Jesus in the afternoons.   I'd have tea with him now but  I don't usually sit that long so I have to stick with prayer and conversations during the day.

Wife - My husband is the greatest guy ever.  I wouldn't trade and I don't share.  Don't get me wrong, I didn't say he was perfect but he is definitely a cut above normal manhood in my opinion.  And since I am the one married to him, it's a good opinion to hold onto.  We will celebrate our 30th anniversary this August.

Mother - Mother to 3 children that I birthed from my body and now a mother to my 4 grandchildren who I didn't birth but I am raising so it feels as though I did only without the stretchmarks.

Writer - I must be a writer because I write.  If I am not writing, then I am thinking about what to write so I claim the title.  Though for the past couple years, by the time the kids are in bed and the house settles into peacefulness, I sit at the computer to recreate the great stuff running through my head only to discover I am too tired to make my brain form the sentences.  Maybe I should claim the title Frustrated Writer instead.

School Bus Driver - Technically, I am still a bus driver though I haven't actually driven a bus since last November.  (My kids needed me at home.)  Currently, the plan says that next school year I'll drive again since all of my children will be in school all day so my time can be structured differently.  However, after several months of not driving, I am actively searching for something to do from home because I like my home.  I especially like my home when I am in it.  So perhaps I'll be able to retire my bus driver hat and don a new one if I can figure out what it is I want to try next. 

Meditator - My 4 grandchildren arrived a little over 3 years ago.  Our family changed overnight from 4 people to 8 - 6 children ages 16, 10, 6, 4, 3, 2 with 2 still in diapers.  It took about a year for me to change from a calm, sane adult to depressed, losing my mind mother with no separate identity.  I lost me and it was like drowning.  Thankfully, I have some good friends who offered support and hung around even though I was a whiny drag for more months than I want to count.  I realized that I had to change or continue turning into someone I didn't like and probably die way too soon as a used up, miserable, no fun hag.  Since I am vain, the hag thing didn't work for me.  Trial and error and many self help books later, I began meditating and it has transformed my life. 

That's enough hats for now.  You did imagine a gorgeous woman wearing diva hats, didn't you?  Feathers and boas would not be inappropriate.  There are more hats but I can list them later as time allows.  For now, I officially claim this as my first blogging post! 

Life is good.
:) Kathy