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May 24th, 2008

Life is what happens when you are standing naked on your bathroom counter

It was just one of those things that happen.  One minute i was checking the state of my flab in the mirror (because everyone knows that an after shower bod looks better and more toned than a before shower bod) and the next I was standing on the bathroom counter cleaning the spots at the top of the mirror.  The phone rang, my daughter answered and brought it to me so I could talk to my husband and then the little kids followed her into the bathroom to ask if they could go outside because their friend was at the door and there I stood on the counter in all my glory.  The chaos only lasted a moment, long enough for me to ask my daughter to throw me a towel but now I am wondering if I have scarred them for life.  One of them asked, "What are you doing, Mimi?"  To which I replied like I parade around on the counter bare-assed every day, "Cleaning the bathroom mirror."  My face was red but they accepted it like a normal event because all they really cared about was going outside to play.  And I have to wonder if it will come up in conversation. 

Friend:  What took you so long to come outside?

Granddaughter:  We had to ask Mimi if we could come out.

Other Granddaughter:  She was cleaning the bathroom.

3rd Granddaughter:  And she didn't have any clothes on.

Giggles all around.

My daughter, 13, rolled her eyes and left the vicinity.  But hey, my mirrors are clean.  

Just Driving Around

On Tuesdays my grandchildren usually go to therapy.  I drop them off and then dash to Wal-Mart to throw as much in my cart as possible during my kid free timeout and call it grocery shopping for the week.  It's always a race to see how much of my list I can throw in there and about making choices such as going through the dairy aisle first because I need milk worse than picking up deodorant and shampoo which are located on the other side of the store.  Sometimes I am driven by a need for dog food which means that I'll be wheeling right by the personal hygiene aisles so then the deodorant and toothpaste land in the cart.  It's all about the choices.

But I digress...

After dropping the kids I decided to take the back way to Wal-Mart down one of those main streets that run through subdivisions so all you see are subdivision names, gates and entries.  I drove by a lady standing by the curb with an upright vacuum cleaner.  It took me a few minutes to compute what was wrong with that picture.  No buses run down that road so she wasn't waiting for a bus and she wasn't standing in front of a subdivision, she was waiting on the curb of a grassy berm between subdivisions with an upright vacuum cleaner that she had to carry quite a ways.  It was just odd and several days later, I am still thinking up  reasons for her to be standing in the middle of nowhere with an upright vacuum cleaner. 

For the past couple weeks my left eye has been twitching in the outside corner.  It's driving me crazy. 

Last night my kids ate dirty peas for dinner.  They didn't know they were dirty and in this case, what they didn't know suited me just fine.  It was a throw-on-the-food-and-call-it-dinner kind of night because we had a school function to attend.  So when I opened the bag of frozen peas and spilled them all over the kitchen floor where they rolled like little marbles on a  freedom pass, I  was beyond frustrated.  I did not have time for this!   Going with the concept that if they are only on the floor for a couple seconds they aren't really dirty, I swept them up and dumped them in a pan.  I ran cold water over them and dumped it out a couple times and then put them on the stove to heat up.  They were frozen, germs should rinse right off, right?

A short time later I made plates for the kids and called them in to eat.  We said our prayers and dug in.  I thought I'd pulled it off until one of my granddaughters held up a hair and said, "Ew, there's a dog hair in my peas."  I gave her a sympathetic hmm and didn't volunteer any information.  Doing dishes a while later, I looked at the plates and noticed a couple dark crumbs on each plate.  Yuck.  Now I feel guilty.  But not guilty enough to tell them they ate dirty peas for dinner.